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tool1991's Journal


tool1991's Journal

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13 entries this month
 

Did You Get What You Want

10:02 Jun 28 2005
Times Read: 713


Did you get what you want,

Someone who cant think for themselves,

How long till it happens,

Till I go mad with questions,

And overdose just to be with you,

You make me feel emotions,

I didn’t think I could feel again,

Did you lie,

When you said,

You didn’t know what I was talking about,

I figured out what I will say,

When you turn around,

And say,

I’m so glad to see you that I’ll never go away


COMMENTS

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You Wake Up

09:58 Jun 28 2005
Times Read: 714


You wake up,

Got nothing to do,

You wonder why you even got up,

Fall back asleep,

This time you don’t wake up,

You wonder what you did to deserve this life,

Been poor sense before you were even five,

Been poor white trash before you were little,

Makes you sick to think about it,

Ever since your best friend died its been down hill,

Turned to a life of drugs,

Turned out just like your father your mother says,

Had to return to reality,

To much reality for you


COMMENTS

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She Wakes Up

09:54 Jun 28 2005
Times Read: 715


She wakes up,

Today she goes to one of her best friend’s graves,

Starts to cry once more,

She now has to add one more,

To the list of my friend’s suicides,

Goes into my best friend’s room,

Finds a note from her,

Says hope to see you in hell,

By the way I’ll miss you,

Brakes down again,

Wondering if she wants to live or die


COMMENTS

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For Me

09:47 Jun 28 2005
Times Read: 716


For me,

For you,

Listen to this shit for one last time,

For I keep bring myself down,

Once I’m under I can’t pull up and out,

For you keep pushing me down,

To meet your level,

For me to cry out,

No more,

Must you torment me and,

Make me scream no and,

Why must you hurt me,

So,

Am I stupid for letting you back into my life,

To make me feel more pain,

When I go under,

I scream in my head this is the last time,

If I don’t go soon you will break my sprit and,

Suck my soul,

I go under one last time,

Before I break it off and,

I die in body and in soul,

For you are my drug,

The one that gets me high and,

Brings me back down to your level,

Then I scream no more,

I can’t love you,

For you are my fear,

I go under one last time,

I say,

For I love you,

You maybe the last one to hold me down,

For I love you but,

You must stop pushing me down,

You are my high,

For I love,

When I love you,

You push me away,

For I love you,

You got me high,

You brought me down,

For the last time,

You say just one more time,

I know it is not the truth,

You will pull me down,

Until I break,

Till I give in and,

Love you once more,

You break me,

You said you loved me but,

For you to love me,

I must go under for you,

You say I need you,

You don’t need me,

For I go under,

I can’t get out,

For you love me,

Just let it go


COMMENTS

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As This Gets Farther

09:40 Jun 28 2005
Times Read: 717


As this gets farther,

I start to wonder,

Is this for real,

Or just another lame excuse,

You came up with,

Am I really that vulnerable,

Tell the truth,

I’d like to know,

As seeing you might be the one,

I need to know now,

If this is the case,

Maybe you are love,

Maybe you’re not the one,

I was counting on you being with me,

Is that so,

You never once doubted,

I was the one for you,

If that is the case,

Why is my heart still hurting,

From the last time we fought,

Are you just a friend,

Or the love of my life,

If that is the case,

I’d like to know,

Before I get to old


COMMENTS

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Will You

04:39 Jun 28 2005
Times Read: 725


Will you,

Will you remember me,

As though it were yesterday,

Yesterday was the day we met,

And the years I knew you,

Went by in a flash,

Our first meeting,

The day you died,

The day I first missed you,

Your funeral,

Where I of course,

Didn’t cry,

Not that I didn’t want to,

But for you I had to be strong,

The misery unfolded,

My life left in the shadows,

Your soul always hanging above me,

When I get to happy,

I’m reminded of you,

As though you’re a damper,

And not my old buddy,

My old buddy,

To laugh with,

To cry with,

To die with,

And finally,

To be with


COMMENTS

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Pink Pearl Erasers

04:37 Jun 28 2005
Times Read: 726


Sick but still in love with the bottle,

But instead of trying to erase your memory,

Imprinted in my mind forever,

Instead I try to erase myself,

These pills as my pink pearl erasers,

There is so many looking out at me,

Just waiting their turn,

For the night I get to depressed,

Then they will erase me,

But in return for their help,

They disappear,

Never to be seen again,

Just like my soul,

So work your magic,

My little erasers,

Erase all of me till I’m no more,

Erase me,

It doesn’t bother me,

No one remembers me anyways,

If they do they don’t know the real me,

Is this my punishment,

Because I block people,

From knowing the real me,

Well they never tried to understand me,

Till they couldn’t find me,

My erasers did the trick,

Cause you don’t know me,

And now you never will


COMMENTS

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Sensing The Tension Between Us

04:36 Jun 28 2005
Times Read: 727


Sensing the tension between us,

I turn away,

Hoping for the sign to appear,

The sign to show me you still love me,

Unlikely I know,

But god I do hope,

As I wait,

I think of the things we planned,

And I wonder if they are still going to happen,

Remembering gives me chills,

Thinking of all the things that were going to happen,

Still wishing they will,

Still stuck in the unknown,

Waiting for an answer to come from that silent mouth,

Knowing what might happen,

Waiting for me to feel myself,

Slowly dieing,

Thinking back to the things kept away,

I let my mind wonder,

Still thinking,

If we have a chance,

Thinking of what we could be,

And what we may never be,

Slipping back to reality,

Still waiting for that answer,

I must know


COMMENTS

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Looks Like This Just Might Be The End

04:32 Jun 28 2005
Times Read: 728


Looks like this just might be the end,

Of you and I,

There was a connection,

But I’m sorry to say I was the one,

Who broke it,

God how could I be so stupid,

I should have know,

This was something big,

But I refused,

Thought it could be possible,

If I just waited a little longer,

But I know it’s a fucked up way

To find out,

And I’m more sorry,

Than I think I’ve been in a while,

For me to hurt you like I did,

Was wrong,

But I can’t help but have this growing sense,

That with losing you,

Is like losing a part of me,

Without our talks till morning,

I have a feeling,

That I’ve lost,

One of the things I care the most about,

Which is you,

Believe it or not,

And I know you need time to think,

But I can’t stop thinking about what could have been


COMMENTS

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Nothing Left Clean

04:29 Jun 28 2005
Times Read: 729


Are you here tonight,

I feel you here,

My body shaking,

My arms,

What is it,

What was it you gave me last night,

I don’t remember last night,

Where was I,

Are you going to crawl through,

My window again,

Watch out,

Do I need a new life,

One without any problems,

My room full of your smell,

It’s intoxicating,

Of drugs,

Of sweat,

My room smells dirty,

Is that so,

No go away,

My closet isn’t even clean,

Anymore,

Nothing is clean,

When you’re around,

It always seems like nothing is clean,

Anymore,

Not even me


COMMENTS

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Over Thinking

02:29 Jun 27 2005
Times Read: 737


Over thinking can cause distraction,

People you meet are dicks when vulnerable,

May this hurt you more than me,

Look at what you turned me into,

You pigged faced fucker,

This hurts,

I hope it hurts you just as much,

Overanalyzing my overwhelming thoughts,

To do this,

To slip away and,

Never think again,

Stay on the swing and,

Think of how to do it,

Tell everyone it is over,

When you don’t even believe this,

Separate head from the mind,

Think carefully,

What you do next might decide your life,

Keep going up,

To what may happen,

Choose carefully at a young age,

Might find yourself in a hole,

The hole in your mind,

Where you have never been,

Examine carefully what is in your head


COMMENTS

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My Innerimage

02:27 Jun 27 2005
Times Read: 738


My inter image,

Will it come before me,

How long will it take,

Before I see it,

Do you find yourself ever,

Shall I find the wormhole,

To bring me back to May 14,

Will it ever happen,

Is there a day,

Where there will be no crying and,

No dieing,

How long till I find myself,

Where will I be,

Will you find me,

Shall the finial day come,

During my time,

Will I see you there,

Will it come before me,

Let me decide,

For myself for once,

Will I find myself


COMMENTS

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Drown

08:42 Jun 26 2005
Times Read: 741


I am drowned in a blood red sea,

With no one coming after me,

What am I to do,

Wait or stay or just sit here and decay,

Better yet sit here and watch the fish go bye,

Sometimes people just want to die,

I am not one of those people,

I miss my parents,

My folks,

All the jokes,

I am not the type of person people expect me to be,

That is why I am drowning in this sea


COMMENTS

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